nebranska:

engage-with-zorp:

sideb00b:

My best friend (who works at State Farm) just called me, so excited, saying she met a cute boy at work, whose name is Jake. She likes Jake from State Farm.

She sounds hideous.

Well she’s a guy so

(via ulquire)

I miss you

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

(via theinvizableninja)

thankfulforanotherdawn:

stunningpicture:

Saw this outside a church on the weekend in Melbourne. Happy to see times are changing, might be slow, but at least there is change.

necessary.

(via strikeupthaband)

  • Drum Major: Set!
  • Band kid before band camp: huh what what's happening um what
  • Drum Major: Set!
  • Band kid after band camp: *responds faster than to the sound of own name*
chocolate-and-snowflakes:

lunacalypso:

"My relationship with Maggie Smith; well, she got me the job at Potter, practically. So for anyone who doesn’t know that story, I basically owe everything to Maggie Smith, because I worked with her on David Copperfield and then she came on to Potter as McGonagall and said to the director: "You need to audition this boy." So I kind of owe her everything, so to Maggie I just say my fairy grandmother." - Daniel Radcliffe

chocolate-and-snowflakes:

lunacalypso:

"My relationship with Maggie Smith; well, she got me the job at Potter, practically. So for anyone who doesn’t know that story, I basically owe everything to Maggie Smith, because I worked with her on David Copperfield and then she came on to Potter as McGonagall and said to the director: "You need to audition this boy." So I kind of owe her everything, so to Maggie I just say my fairy grandmother." - Daniel Radcliffe

(via bullardbebad)

nymphdomi:

andy065:

Fuck your house.

OMG I’m dying

(via krissykatfangirl)

askaslimepony:

Ok ok ok but what’s the genderqueer flag, genderfluid flag, bigender flag, polysexual flag and demisexual flag

(via theinvizableninja)

gtaichou:

!!!!!

This is the Borneo Bay Cat, one of the rarest wild cat breeds in the world.  Endangered, forest-dwelling, and about the size of a house cat, it’s population is facing a projected decline of more than 20% by 2020 due to habitat loss.

I never thought I’d see photos of them on my dash!

(via fyeahbandnerd)

ishallbreakthestereotype:

erika-and-a-flag:

Things society wants me to do:
•get good grades
•graduate high school
•go to a nice college
•get married
•have kids

Things I want to do:
•make it through the day
•march
•love someone

FUCKING YES

(via sofa-king-tuba)

reverserapunzel:

My parents and I were watching the Hobbit but then they both fell asleep so I stopped the movie and started Return of the King about halfway through and when my dad woke up he just looked at me with this horrified expression and whispered what day is it?

(via gunsdrugsmoney)